Invite Yourself

October 22, 2023

Since moving here, a lot of people have told me “You are very brave”. Thank you! It was brave to move across the world by myself. But you know what else is brave? Staying in the town you’re in and planting roots. Diving into community right where you’re at. Working at the same job for longer than a year. Going on dates. Getting married. Starting a family. To all my friends who are doing those things: I think you are very brave too.

This week marked two months of living in Italy. Two months of cappuccinos and aperitivos and bus rides to school and bike rides to the grocery store. I’ve learned a lot things over these two months, my favorite being: Invite yourself.

About a month ago my friend Rebecca texted me and said, “I think I’m going to quit my job, can I come stay with you?” I said yes, and she arrived this Tuesday. I finally got a pumpkin spice latte at the Milan train station Starbucks when I went to meet her—score! And it has been so fun being a host and showing her around. We’ve been searching for the best hot chocolate in Piacenza. We’ve been talking about everything, going to cafes, reading books, searching for jobs, exploring the city, enjoying food with friends (we went to a restaurant where we drank wine out of bowls??). It’s been such a fun week.

The other night while Rebecca and I were on a hot chocolate date, my friend Ruby asked if she could come join us for an aperitivo. Fifteen minutes later we were sipping negronis and ended up talking for hours. On Friday while on a nice sunset walk, we bumped into my friend Pauline and her boyfriend Manuel. We made some last-minute plans and two hours later we were at my house laughing and drinking wine. On Saturday while we were at the morning market, my friend Ivana texted asking if we wanted to meet up, and if she could join us for lunch. We ate a great lunch and spent the afternoon walking around the city.

Since all of us moved here alone, we are always inviting each other over, and it’s the best! There’s always something to do. But the special moments of this week were the times my friends invited themselves. I think that’s how life is meant to be lived: constant community—friends and neighbors stopping by unannounced because they were in the area and needed to go to the bathroom, or inviting you to their house because they made too much homemade pizza (both of which happened in the past 24 hours).

I tend to be passive. I’m afraid of inviting myself because I don’t want to interrupt or be a burden in any way. But I think spontaneous hang outs are the best kind! When people ask to join you or ask you to join them, for both the fun moments and the mundane ones. I’m so thankful for friends who aren’t afraid of inviting themselves. Life with open doors is so sweet!