Dinner for One?

My apartment is cozy, candle-lit, and decorated for Christmas; The Lumineers debut album is playing on repeat through my speaker; I just cooked up one of my favorite meals and opened one of my favorite bottles of budget-friendly Italian wine; and I’m sitting down to eat (yet another) meal alone.

Going from two months of having no alone time whatsoever in Portugal to now being alone 95% of the time here in Italy has been a bit of a tough transition for me. I miss the comfort of having housemates, the chaos of working with so many different personalities, and the conversations we had around tables at mealtimes.

I am blessed by the friends I have here in Piacenza, there is no doubt about that. I love spontaneous aperitivo meet ups and study dates. I love house parties where we celebrate birthdays and holidays and anniversaries. I love chill days when I make soup and Liana and Teresa bake a cake, then we share a meal and talk for hours. But despite my friends being great, I spend most of my time on my own. Therefore, I spend a lot of time in my head, and therefore I spend a bit of time spiraling.

Will I pass this exam on Tuesday? Will I graduate on time? Will I get a job when I’m done? Will I ever be able to afford a house? In this economy?! And speaking of the economy, how is this presidential election going to turn out? I’ll go on TikTok to see if there’s any new news from America. Just stay up to date with things, of course! Oh my gosh, is this really the state of the world?! How stressful! Now I’ve spent an hour scrolling when I should have been doing something productive like studying for my exam on Tuesday. UGH!

And then the cycle continues. Sounds super healthy, right?

I think a problem that many people are facing right now is we are way too inward focused while simultaneously being way too outward focused. For example, I spend a good majority of my time worrying (inwardly) about myself, my health, my future, etc., and another good majority of my time worrying (outwardly) about things I absolutely have no control over, like wars and elections and hurricanes. Shouldn’t our focus lie somewhere in between the two? On the things and the people within our reach?

Our arms can only stretch so far, and our shoulders can only carry so much weight. We are meant to share each other’s burdens. To live in companionship and community.

I am all for solitude. I love quiet time. I enjoy being independent. But I think solitude can easily turn into isolation, and that’s dangerous territory. God said it first: “It is not good for man to be alone”. We were created to be in community. To love others and be loved, to help others and be helped, to know others and be known, to challenge others and to be challenged, to serve others and to be served, to sharpen others and to be sharpened, to encourage others and to be encouraged.

It's too easy to take the people in your life for granted, when really we should all be loving on and leaning on one another. So, as I sit alone, eating another meal in silence, I implore you to think of some people in your life who you love very much, then call one of them up and invite them over and share a meal. And if you are in no place to do that, think of some people in your life who you love very much, then call one of them up and tell them to make a meal and host you. Meals taste better when they’re eaten with friends!

That’s all from me this week. Remember to love your neighbor!

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25